I had every reason to be happy at this moment,
I taken photo with Allen Wu AGAIN ...
I have meet a lot of local celebrities ( more photos coming in)
My family, are here with me and
we went to family dinner/gathering for mooncake festivals
but ....
yet I'm feel De-Valued...
Why ?
First of all,
I very sorry to a girl,
a girl I think I made her pek chek many times
This time , I really in the wrong,
My attention to detail are lacking
I did not gave enough contribution,
I am really sorry,
I know you will know I talking about you when you see this ,
A really sincere apology,
I will do the whole thing again , and
send to you tomolo,
and I really dun mind to do extra work,
Contributed not enough is 1 factor ...
another ,
Although taking photos make me feel so "alive"
but
after the whole day of taking photos.....
I went to a family gathering...
and couldn't help but to notice
I felt so lifeless in family gathering ,
Being segregated from "adult " table and always have to dine in "children" table
although it is a norm there, but
I really felt this remind me of the word "Marxism"
I usually dont really mind it ...
but ....
ya...today only...
and today also ,
I felt that ,
I really non existed ..
dun ask me how I sense it .....
and the worst part is ...
I am really happy when my parent are coming down
at least, I know I can share all my excitement, my enjoyment in my life
but ...
same like talking music to wall...
no reaction , no attention given to me...
Am I really valueless until I cant be taken seriously ?
DeValued...
Come to think of it ...
I am always teased ...
(content of teasing varies..but I end up being a joker)
I don't mind it actually..
but the frequency has increased....
And I cant help it to think twice about myself
Although I love myself,
but ...
the pillar has been shaken...
What am I ,
What value I have ?
boonboon2k2
.........
by the time the post is up there,
I will be ok ..
I just wan to throw all my emotions....
3 comments:
feeling so emo ah...loss of confidence ah...self value is what you are, not what others perceive you to be..there is a difference leh
awwww boon..i felt it too for you but i see how happy you are with the teasings and all and you said you are okay with it....sometimes people just get so stuck in their own world that they forget about others' feeling...cheer up boon! you're valued! =)
Tai Kor: I quite confident over my own capabilities, but ... the surroundings has shaken how I perceive myself a..
SL: I actually ok with the teasings ,
but ...ya, sometimes it went overboard, and sometimes it is quite hurtful ...
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